Chapter 34 - Mistrust of Women and Inability to Love
Sitting across from each other, they poured red and white wine into their glasses.
"I’ve finally made a female friend I can talk to normally..."
Volf said, leaning back tiredly against the sofa opposite her. Unlike before, his shoulders seemed relaxed.
Dahlia, holding her glass, thought she might be the same way.
"From the way you said that, it sounds like you don’t have many friends."
"Yes, that’s exactly right."
"It was just a joke, but it’s flustering when you don't deny it... Is that just how nobles are?"
"No, in my case, I can become friends with someone, but because of women, my friendships tend to break down. It was especially bad when I was at the academy."
"So, was it because of love triangles or something?"
Volf didn’t answer her question but instead gently swirled the white wine in his glass.
Closing his beautiful golden eyes, he gave a faint, cold smile.
"My friend’s crush liked me. Friendship broken."
"Everyone at the academy is quite young, right?"
"My friend’s girlfriend liked me. Friendship broken."
"That must have been hard for your friend..."
"My friend started dating a girl who actually had her eyes set on me. Friendship broken."
"That’s almost a tear-jerker of a story."
"My friend’s sister, who was already engaged, confessed to me. When I turned her down, she told him I was persistently pursuing her. He believed her and punched me. Friendship broken."
"Just how many times did your friendships break over love…?"
It was no wonder he had trauma from it.
It seemed that having looks that are too good could sometimes tilt things into the negative.
Volf finally opened his eyes, his face a bit weary, and continued.
"I hated it at the academy, so when I joined the order, I felt relieved. Then I got all kinds of offers, from arranged marriages to casual flings, and got immediately sick of it. Now, I’m supposedly involved with a dowager duchess, so I don’t get bothered as much."
"A dowager duchess... Is she a relative or something?"
Just hearing the words "dowager duchess" conjured up an image of a sultry beauty in Dahlia's mind.
Perhaps she had read too many novels in her previous life.
"My mother was a knight. She was the one my mother was guarding before her marriage. I occasionally stay over at her estate to talk about my mother. Since her husband passed away, there’s been no shortage of birds flocking around her, so rumors about me act like a pest repellent for her."
"'No shortage of birds'...?"
Unable to picture what male suitors would look like, Dahlia imagined a flock of swallows filling the garden, with Volf sweeping them away with a broom.
Maybe the wine was affecting her.
"Some fool once broke into her garden, holding flowers, just to woo her. I heard the Duke doesn’t show mercy, so the persistent ones probably end up buried, literally."
"Please tell me you’re joking! For my peace of mind, right now!"
Volf didn’t answer her.
Instead, he opened a new bottle with a bright smile and poured a generous amount of red wine into her glass.
"The Duke’s family is terrifying... But isn’t the dowager duchess one of your female friends? If she’s a widow, there shouldn’t be a problem if she falls in love, right?"
"She’s not a friend; it’s more like she’s completely above me… We’re not related by blood, but like an aunt or a mentor who teaches me about noble customs. She’s the same age as my mother, too. As for romance, well, if I ever get desperate, I’d just go to a brothel."
"You’re saying that to me, a woman? And with that face, no less."
If anything, Volf could probably make money from this. He could earn a good amount in a short period of time.
"Dahlia, your eyes are telling me what you’re thinking about me."
She could feel his gaze on her, heavy and knowing.
It seemed like her thoughts were transparent, so she quickly changed the subject.
"Shouldn’t you have married some pure, elegant young lady from the academy instead?"
"...I actually had an experience at an academy tea party where a 'young lady' drugged me."
"At an academy tea party?"
"Yeah. I’m not sure if she meant to strip me right there or if she was going to call her carriage. Luckily, a friend came to my rescue and carried me out. If he hadn’t, I don’t know what would have happened."
"...Wow."
"I was scolded by that friend. I didn’t have much family interaction, but I learned that noble children get trained for that kind of thing from an early age. My friend was a noble, so I consulted with him, and he helped me build up a resistance by drinking all sorts of stuff and buying some magical tools... I really appreciated it, but then came his little sister with the engagement issue. He punched me and cut ties."
"That must have been really hard..."
It was no surprise that he mistrusted women—or even people in general.
And even though he came from a Count family, it seemed that Volf wasn’t really considered part of his own family.
It must have been tough for him with no one to turn to.
"I only managed to make a few friends in the Subjugation Force, but honestly, my relationships with people have been pretty pathetic. I’m a coward who doesn’t trust women, and the only thing I’m good at is killing monsters. If I hadn’t met you as 'Dahli-san,' I probably wouldn’t even be able to talk to you like this."
Volf was self-deprecating, but his hands were tightly clenched, looking almost painful.
"I’ve confessed honestly, but don’t you think I’d be the type to make you want to stop being friends with right away, Dahlia?"
"No, not at all."
Dahlia shook her head firmly in denial.
After all, what bad points did Volf have?
Even if women were drawn to him because of his good looks, he shouldn’t have to take responsibility for that. If anyone was suffering from the nuisance and harm, it was surely Volf.
"As for love and engagement, I’m not exactly a great example either."
"That 'true love' guy?"
Recently, Tobias seemed to be described more by adjectives than by name. Perhaps that was better than hearing his name repeatedly.
"Yes. Because of our fathers passing away, we were engaged for two full years. Then, the day before getting married, I went to our new home only to find his new fiancée already coming and going, women’s clothes mixed in with my furniture, and later, he even asked me to return the engagement bracelet so he could give it to his new wife."
"Dahlia, you should’ve punched that man without hesitation—no, you should’ve taken a running start and hit him with everything you’ve got."
The young man stated it firmly, his golden eyes showing he was absolutely serious.
"Well, you see, I didn’t have that strong of an attachment to him... Even after being by his side for two years, I didn’t fall in love with him. Back in the academy, romance felt distant to me, and I never really understood the feelings involved. Honestly, creating magical tools now is far more enjoyable than being engaged ever was, so maybe I’m just missing something in that area. After the engagement was broken off, I came to the conclusion that I’m simply unfit for romance..."
"I see..."
Volf seemed to understand, at least for the moment.
This had been hard for her to process herself, but somehow she managed to explain it rather straightforwardly. Perhaps the wine helped.
"Did your time at the academy mostly revolve around magical tool research?"
"Yes. Back then, I spent my time studying and in the magical tool lab. When I got home, I helped with household chores and my father’s magical tool projects while doing my own research."
"Sounds like you were pretty busy."
"Well, I did get to spend time with my childhood friend sometimes—eating meals together, going shopping, or having sleepovers at each other’s houses."
"That kind of life sounds nice..."
Although Volf had a good appearance, noble lineage, and a respectable profession, he seemed to envy her for having fewer elements of youthfulness in her life. It was rather pitiful.
"When I went out to the town with the first friend I made in the squad, I ended up being used as bait for pick-up attempts..."
"Maybe you should just drop that friend."
"He’s not a bad guy. Now he says women are the energy men live on, and he’s spoiling his girlfriend rotten."
"It’s good for the economy of the capital, I suppose."
Dahlia answered as she watched Volf narrow his eyes, then hide them behind his hand as he drank from his glass.
She glanced at the window in front of them. Her own face was reflected in the glass.
"...Do you hate your own face that much, Volf?"
His gesture seemed to be hiding a wound, and she couldn’t help but speak without thinking.
"Yeah, I really hate it."
Though he was answering with a beautiful smile, he somehow looked angry.
When he finished the last of his drink, all expression drained from his face.
"After I became a 'young man,' I was taken to the church because they said I had eyes that could 'charm' people. I was hopeful that it could be cured, but the priest told me, 'This is surely a blessing from the gods. Golden eyes will attract people’s goodwill.' I think it’s more like they attract desires, not goodwill."
Now his face was expressionless, yet somehow, he looked like he was about to cry.
Listening to his story, it almost felt as though those beautiful golden eyes were a curse upon him.
"If you could, would you want to hide those eyes?"
"Yeah, if I could, I’d hide them... Dahlia, you almost sound like a witch."
The young man’s eyes met hers, filled with a hint of confusion.
"I’m a magical toolmaker, not a witch. But, perhaps, just maybe, I could make your wish come true with a magical tool. You can take the wine with you, so could you come with me to the workshop for a moment?"
With their glasses of wine in hand, the two of them headed downstairs to the workshop on the first floor.
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