Chapter 66 - Failure
“Uhehehehe~ I’ve already made it to the 13th floor~! Amazing how different things are when knights from other countries show up~!”
“And it’s not just the knights—there’s a crazy number of adventurers coming too. The booze must be working wonders.”
I regretted not being more of a drinker when I was alive.
As for whiskey, the only time I ever bought any was on a whim from a convenience store, and even then it was a cheap one, around a thousand yen.
And that one bottle? I drank from it maybe twice before shoving it into the back of the cupboard and forgetting about it.
“Unlike Japanese sake that comes in paper cartons, whiskey comes in heavy glass bottles... must’ve been a pain to carry.”
Maybe there were non-glass options, but I didn’t remember ever seeing whiskey sold in anything else, so I couldn’t reproduce them here.
I did vaguely recall seeing giant five-liter plastic bottles of whiskey or shōchū at the supermarket, though.
Bringing that kind of thing out in a dungeon felt like borderline harassment.
Still, it was weird hearing people in this other world casually talking about “whiskey” or “Japanese sake.”
Even if it was thanks to the translation feature, it felt a bit off—there’s no way the word “Japan” should exist here.
At least use something like seishu or ginjō-shu...
Come to think of it, I had no idea whether the carton sake I summoned was actually seishu or ginjō-shu.
If I didn’t know, the translation system probably had no choice but to call it “Japanese sake.” Guess I couldn’t blame it.
Without the translator, what name did they even use for it in this world?
“Hey, Master, there’s a good number of adventurers collapsing on the stairs.”
Peta-chan’s dungeon was, as always, filled with unnecessary vastness, and the stairways between floors were ridiculously long.
And yet, people were hauling dozens of whiskey bottles and sake cartons all the way up twelve floors.
Yeah... that was hell.
The stairs were proving more formidable than the monsters.
Maybe we should consider modifying the stairs to make things easier on the adventurers?
“Oh, I love it. Let them burn through every last bit of stamina—after all, the energy they lose gets converted into points for me.”
Peta-chan was a total sadist.
“Look over there—someone’s crying because their gear bag tore open. Greedy much?”
The official knight squads had proper rucksacks made from sturdy silk from the Thread Dungeon.
But the average adventurer had to make do with poor-quality cloth bags. Some were no better than ragged sacks.
Even seasoned adventurers capable of reaching the 12th floor were stuck using junk like that.
Unless you were part of the formal military, you could never afford the kind of gear the knights had.
The value of dungeon-made equipment really stood out.
“Even Captain Touji and her team called it quits after hauling 100 bottles of whiskey and 200 packs of sake... I bet the price of booze on the surface has gone through the roof.”
Honestly, I had no idea how much the chocolate and alcohol I summoned were going for up top.
I doubted even the lower-ranking nobles, let alone commoners, could get their hands on any of it.
It would’ve been smarter to separate the combatants from the transport team, but unless you had absolute trust, someone was bound to sneak off with a few bottles.
Well... that kind of logistics wasn’t really our job to figure out.
Our job, as dungeon administrators, was simply to keep building dungeons that would draw them in deeper and deeper.
“Master, aren’t you going to build the next floor? Didn’t you earn enough points to make at least two more levels when the queen and queen consort visited?”
When Queen Teta and Her Majesty Yuzha had arrived with their grand entourage, they’d been followed by noblewomen from Sepans and female adventurers alike.
Following behind Her Majesty during bath time was the safest option, so whenever she moved, most of the Sepans nobles followed.
Part of the funding for exploring the Hot Spring Dungeon came from a union formed by those very nobles.
As long as they didn’t get in the way of Her Majesty’s forces during exploration or bathing, they were permitted to tag along quietly and enjoy the after-bath benefits.
Even the general female adventurers, who hadn’t paid a single coin, were silently tolerated by the noblewomen when they tagged along in droves.
After all, it was like getting free rear-guard surveillance in return.
So whenever Her Majesty Yuzha came for a bath, it was as if the entire female population of Sepans showed up to flood the place with a mountain of points.
And this time, with Queen Teta’s elite squad of female knights in tow, the profit was even higher.
“Yeah, I’m good for now. I’d rather save up a few more points.”
“Hm? But you’d earn way more if you made new floors faster, wouldn’t you?
The deeper people go, the more points you get. It’s a huge jump.
And the monsters around this level aren’t much of a challenge for the knight order anymore.
Ehehe~ I want that captain to hurry up and come to a new floor so I can watch her fight again~!”
As we chatted and absentmindedly watched Captain Touji’s group, we saw something shocking:
Captain Touji had decided to head back to the surface, lugging booze on her shoulders.
“Huuuhh?? Whaaat!? Why’s she leaving?! She’s one of our highest point earners!”
It turned out that the bottom three teams—those with the lowest booze recovery—were being sent back, and unfortunately, Captain Touji’s team was among them.
“Man... was our booze luck that bad?” she muttered, grumbling as she climbed the stairs.
No, Captain.
The other groups had just been smart about it—they bought up the booze adventurers couldn’t carry with chocolate and other tricks.
If it were based solely on what was earned through combat, your group would’ve ranked near the top, honestly.
Her subordinates all looked awkward, clearly unsure how to break the truth to her now.
“Nooo, don’t gooo, Captain Touji~~!”
Even Peta-chan had become a fan of Captain Touji, just like Bugu-kun.
From a dungeon core’s perspective, powerful knights must’ve looked like bonus characters brimming with sweet, juicy experience points.
As for me... well, the amount of points I earned from Her Majesty Yuzha’s grand bath processions was just too massive. I couldn’t really bring myself to care about the difference an individual knight made.
That’s why, for me, the real bonus character was Her Majesty herself—and I needed her to dive as deep into the dungeon as possible.
It was a real shame she didn’t make it to the 14th-floor steam-cooking area...
And honestly, it broke my heart that not even the Second Unit made use of that steam-cooking level for, well, cooking.
Oh, I get it. They didn’t want to risk eating food that made them glow, or boosted their speed for a time, or stretched their limbs, or made them float... or go into heat and squirm around?
That’s what you're saying, right?!
I apologize.
Still, even if that floor ends up functioning more like a shady alchemy lab, it’s fine—as long as people keep staying there for extended periods, the dungeon thrives.
Every time the “No-Hunger Dungeon” levels up and new ingredients appear, someone has to go back and research them in that floor.
So go on—go find those new ingredients in the next layer of the No-Hunger Dungeon.
Then head over to the 14th floor of the Hot Spring Dungeon and cook with them!
The only reason I could afford to sit back and watch the growth of the No-Hunger Dungeon like this... was thanks to that very cooking area.
And one day, when monsters show up that humans simply can’t match in strength, those cooking buffs will definitely shine.
So it’s not a failure—not at all. Nope.
I mean, yeah, sure... them not enjoying the cooking was a misstep—well, an unexpected outcome.
Also, as a point of self-reflection: no matter how long they stay in the cooking area, I still haven’t gotten to see anyone naked.
Damn it. No matter how I look at it, that part was an undeniable failure! I’ll do better next time.
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